July 2, 2008
This morning Jack was lieing in my lap after he woke up and I was drinking my coffee and reading the news on the internet. I was half reading and thinking of mom at the same time. How did a year pass by already? My mom is dead. My mom is dead? What? When did that happen? Looking at Jack lieing in my lap, I realized he was looking at me, really looking at me and smiling. I thought, "gosh, Mom would just eat him up right now." I know what she would say if she was there. I know now, she was there this morning. She said, "He's in love with you, look at the way he's looking at you." Just then, out of nowhere and half asleep, Jack said, "Where's MoMo?"
Jack doesn't remember MoMo. He knows her pictures and knows of us talking about her, but he doesn't remember her. Yet he does know her and knew she was there. You can believe or not believe, but examine what happened. How could a coincidence like that happen this morning? No other explanation, my little angel Jack saw his big angel Jacquelyn, aka MoMo. I had a sense of calmness about me. I knew I was doing the right thing in taking time off from work. Mom didn't like my children going to daycare. She believed my place was in the home. I didn't realize I was going to take the time off this week, I was on a roll at the office. But something stopped me, and guided me home; where I belong for now.
Taylor comes home tomorrow. I know she is excited, and I am too. She's had a rough two months. I am proud of her, she has achieved so much in the last few months. I think she must be scared too, but won't admit it. I know I am scared, and I admit it with all I have. I am scared. Taylor and I talked about anger and emotions. She was honest about feeling. Doesn't she know that she can show other emotions? I am not much of a crier, but she thinks I am. I have had a lot to cry about these last few years, and I have never held my emotions back from her. She thinks crying is a weakness. "But honey, crying is not a sign of weakness", I said to her. She disagreed and we got in to a passionate conversation about it. We couldn't come to a conclusion. At least for tonight.
She needs her hair cut, so on our way home, we will go to the beauty shop (are they called beauty shops anymore?) and get her hair done. Nothing like having your hair done when you're not feeling good. After all, our hair is our crowning glory. Think about it, when you have a good hair day, all goes well.
We're in the middle of a thunderstorm right now. Loud roaring thunder, flashes of bright lightening strikes beam through the covered windows. It must be bad out if I can see the lightening through mini blinds and curtains. I think the storm is overhead. Toby is not happy and wimpering while lieing next to my bed. Jack is asleep next to me on the bed and William is lieing on the floor watching his favorite tv show, Two and a Half Men. I'm not a fan of Charlie Sheen but it is a funny show. My favorite show comes on next, Frasier.
Tim is in Las Cruces for Mike Jordan's wedding. Mike is a great guy, so glad he's getting married. Wish I could be there too, but it was bad timing. I hope Tim has a good time. He's staying at Jane Ann's. I told him to say hi to Molly for me, she's a good girl. (Molly is a golden retriever with beautiful graying hair that makes her look like she had her hair frosted at the finest hair salon.) Jane Ann and Dave are coming home from Mexico. Bet they had a good time, forgot where they went exactly but think I remember Mexican Riviera with an all inclusive resort.
After Las Cruces, Tim is flying to Brownsville to see his mom and John. We are buying a Mercedes, and I'm excited about it. I have never bought a car for cash before. Woohoo! What an exciting feeling it is. Pay to the Order of John Alberg.....memo line says purchase of Mercedes Benz. Wow, wrote a check in full for the purchase of a Mercedes; fully loaded 4 door sedan. Ok, so it's a 1988 Mercedes 560 SEL with 20,000 miles on it but why in the heck would I buy a new car and have it depreciate as soon as I drive it off the lot?
A few reviews on the car....
So, there is some new info on our life here in Overland Park, Kansas. Hope your life is going well, where you are living .
Blessings and love,
CJ
Jack doesn't remember MoMo. He knows her pictures and knows of us talking about her, but he doesn't remember her. Yet he does know her and knew she was there. You can believe or not believe, but examine what happened. How could a coincidence like that happen this morning? No other explanation, my little angel Jack saw his big angel Jacquelyn, aka MoMo. I had a sense of calmness about me. I knew I was doing the right thing in taking time off from work. Mom didn't like my children going to daycare. She believed my place was in the home. I didn't realize I was going to take the time off this week, I was on a roll at the office. But something stopped me, and guided me home; where I belong for now.
Taylor comes home tomorrow. I know she is excited, and I am too. She's had a rough two months. I am proud of her, she has achieved so much in the last few months. I think she must be scared too, but won't admit it. I know I am scared, and I admit it with all I have. I am scared. Taylor and I talked about anger and emotions. She was honest about feeling. Doesn't she know that she can show other emotions? I am not much of a crier, but she thinks I am. I have had a lot to cry about these last few years, and I have never held my emotions back from her. She thinks crying is a weakness. "But honey, crying is not a sign of weakness", I said to her. She disagreed and we got in to a passionate conversation about it. We couldn't come to a conclusion. At least for tonight.
She needs her hair cut, so on our way home, we will go to the beauty shop (are they called beauty shops anymore?) and get her hair done. Nothing like having your hair done when you're not feeling good. After all, our hair is our crowning glory. Think about it, when you have a good hair day, all goes well.
We're in the middle of a thunderstorm right now. Loud roaring thunder, flashes of bright lightening strikes beam through the covered windows. It must be bad out if I can see the lightening through mini blinds and curtains. I think the storm is overhead. Toby is not happy and wimpering while lieing next to my bed. Jack is asleep next to me on the bed and William is lieing on the floor watching his favorite tv show, Two and a Half Men. I'm not a fan of Charlie Sheen but it is a funny show. My favorite show comes on next, Frasier.
Tim is in Las Cruces for Mike Jordan's wedding. Mike is a great guy, so glad he's getting married. Wish I could be there too, but it was bad timing. I hope Tim has a good time. He's staying at Jane Ann's. I told him to say hi to Molly for me, she's a good girl. (Molly is a golden retriever with beautiful graying hair that makes her look like she had her hair frosted at the finest hair salon.) Jane Ann and Dave are coming home from Mexico. Bet they had a good time, forgot where they went exactly but think I remember Mexican Riviera with an all inclusive resort.
After Las Cruces, Tim is flying to Brownsville to see his mom and John. We are buying a Mercedes, and I'm excited about it. I have never bought a car for cash before. Woohoo! What an exciting feeling it is. Pay to the Order of John Alberg.....memo line says purchase of Mercedes Benz. Wow, wrote a check in full for the purchase of a Mercedes; fully loaded 4 door sedan. Ok, so it's a 1988 Mercedes 560 SEL with 20,000 miles on it but why in the heck would I buy a new car and have it depreciate as soon as I drive it off the lot?
A few reviews on the car....
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Blessings and love,
CJ
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